JOY...total and complete JOY!

As I sit down at my computer desk tonight, and look around at the complete chaos that I live in called a "home with children," I find myself feeling nothing less the total and complete joy. It has a lot to do with the impending holidays. The feel and look of the season are all around us now. Decorations are starting to be put up, the toys are beginning to sell out, and holiday music is starting to be heard throughout all my favorite stores. The holidays. My favorite time of the year. So much laughter...so much JOY. But not last year...not for me. Last year it was about this time that the reality of missing Mikayla's First Christmas was setting in. A reality that I tried, with all my heart, to face as best I could for the sake of Alec and the sanity of my husband. Last year I can very much remember going through the motions of the holidays, and dreading the family events where I would be asked countless upon countless times when our daughter would come home. When. When would she come home??? I didn't know and hearing that question being asked by well-wishers holding their OWN sweet children adorned in fantastic holiday attire bit me hard...right at my heart and soul. I would smile, answer politely that I didn't know when she would be home, and then come home only to end up in her finished nursery, melting down with raw emotions and tears. Those nights would end with Kris coming up to get me, to pull me up from my low, and to tuck me into bed, where I would cry myself to sleep...my arms and heart empty as Mikayla laid her sweet head on the pillow in her crib thousands of miles away from her mom, dad, and brother.

Thankfully, although we didn't know it, our time was almost due, and the day after a less then JOYful New Years, we received word we were OUT of PGN. Mikayla Faith....she was coming home...and that was when the JOY began.

Mikayla turned 17 months old yesterday and so tonight I wanted to post about the JOY that she brings to our lives. She makes me laugh and smile all the time. She is so funny...everything that she does and the ways in which she does them are so...well...so Mikayla! The pain the process brings is never forgotten, never, but it fades to a distant memory over time. And this holiday season, as I see the decorations and hear the music...I don't feel sadness...I feel JOY. I feel joy because my life has been so richly blessed with an amazing husband who is everything to me, and two completely beautiful and wonderful children. Both of which bring their own uniqueness and personalities to our family. I love them both so much..so very much...they BOTH bring me so much.....JOY!

Welcome to the World! This is our referral picture!

~One Month Old~
~Two Months Old~
~Three Months Old~

~Four Months Old~
~Five Months Old~
~Six Months Old~
~Seven Months Old and COMING HOME!!! (Taken on our pick up trip)~

~Eight Months Old~
~Nine Months Old~
~Ten Months Old~
~Eleven Months Old~
~Twelve Months Old~

~Thirteen Months Old~
~Fourteen Months Old~
~Fifteen Months Old~
~Sixteen Months Old~
~SEVENTEEN MONTHS OLD!!!~

I also wanted to say thank you to everyone for their well wishes and prayers for me this past weekend. I am still in a lot of pain and running high fevers. I will be calling my Urologist tomorrow to see if this is normal or if I should go in and see her. I will let everyone know of course tomorrow.