Three Months Ago this Night....

...I was packing up the last of our things...thousands of miles away from home in a city that never in my lifetime did I ever think I would visit. But I wasn't there visiting...I was there to pick up my child. A small little girl who was just barely 7 months old that didn't even know who I was. A small little girl that smiled at me, but with question, because she had abruptly been taken from the only world she had ever known and handed over to people that she couldn't remember. As I gently folded the last of her things and packed them in her suitcase I thought about the future....and about the past. It was the eve of a whole new world...not just for her...but for us. For months I had longed to bring her home. Months had gone by where I had cried and longed to hold my daughter and now here I was, folding her clothes, packing them away, knowing that this time, I wasn't leaving her behind. She was coming home. I never did sleep that night. All I could think about was that plane ride that would take us to the United Sates and then, back to Ohio, her new home. I had dreamed about this moment since before we ever laid eyes on her, since before she was ever even born!! And the time was almost here. My thoughts drifted to the arrival we would make at the airport and how our familes would be there waiting for us...waiting for her. It felt like a dream...and to be honest...it still does!

As I write this I can hear her whimpering in her crib through the baby monitor. She does that sometimes a night. She wakes up and grabs her Lovey that her grandma got her. I can hear it jingle since it has a little bell in it. It's her favorite thing in bed and she won't sleep without it. So now I think about how I know those things. When she came home I felt like I knew her instantly. I felt a connection to this child that was amazing and instant. And I think she felt the same way because she has always loved me, since the beginning, and has always found comfort in my arms. She knows my voice and follows it and follows me!

I never thought that this would be a chapter in my life. Although maybe I did know....I just didn't know that THIS was how it would play out. From the time was in high school I had feared I could not have children. It was just a "feeling" that I had, something that no evidence ever suggested, just something that I feared and felt. When Kris and I were married I knew I instantly had to try for a child. I didn't want to wait. For some reason, now which I know, I felt that a clock was slowly ticking and that we needed to have a baby NOW. It took us from the day of our marriage, April 7th, 2001 until Novemeber, 2001 to become pregnant. I was not one that adored pregnany. In fact...I hated it quite a bit. I became huge, swollen, and moody. I was 42 weeks pregnant when they induced me and my labor ended in an emergency c-section. Alec was the picture of beautiful health as a baby. He was adorable in every way that a baby should be. He was wonderful and he created in me a pride that I had never felt before. The instant love that I felt for him was overwhelming. He is my blessing from God...truly. I adore my son more then life itself. He has completed a part of my soul that was empty.

Shortly after Alec turned one that nagging feeling returned that we needed to have another child. We tried for a few years but it was too late. The opportunity for us to have children had passed. And as depressed as I was to know that we would not have anymore children on our own...it was as if I knew this would happen to me and that was part of the ultimate plan in my life. And it was.

I worried that I wouldn't love Mikayla the same way I loved Alec. I often feared that I would feel different somehow about her. But I don't. She came to our family by the grace of God. She was God's plan for us, afterall. I still mourn the time I lost with my daughter. There were many months that passed before she was "ours" and I still think of them often. She is a beautiful child. So full of laughter and life. She has a very easy-going personality. She is a dream. And I feel guilty writing that because I know that not all adoptions are a "dream" at first. But I cannot lie and say otherwise because our was and is....a perfect dream. I guess not a dream...a reality. I am still amazed when I wake up in the morning and see her beautiful face smiling at me. I am still amazed when she falls asleep each night cradled in my arms in the glider. I am still amazed when she reaches her arms towards me and says MAMA. I am still amazed that after all we went through....I have a daughter...and her name is Mikayla Faith. My sweet Mikayla Faith...Happy Three Month Home Anniversary...you are my princess....now and forever.

PIERCED EARS!

We decided to take Mikayla to the mall today and get her ears pierced. I have been wanting to do it for awhile and I decided that today was the day. She was a real champ. She barely even cried and I had a bottle ready for her so that she could have it as soon as they were done. Daddy held her down and mommy watched (not good with this stuff) and Alec was holding her hand telling her it would only hurt for a minute. So they did one ear at a time, then she took her bottle, and acted like nothing ever even happened. I love them. We chose diamond and white gold earings and they are circles set into the white gold. Don't know how to explain it...sorry. They are adorable and I am so glad I had it done. She didn't want me to take pictures of them...LOL but I did get a few. I didn't have a chance to clean off the marker from her ears before I took these so you can still see the purple.

MOM...quit taking pictures and FEED ME!


Wait a mintue...I see daddy....does he have cereal for me?

Playing on the floor...you can see the marker more then the earing in this one.

Cheese face!

Super DUPER cheese face!

I love you!

Please don't take my picture mom...PLEASE!

My HANDSOME blue-eyed Prince

These were taken yesterday!

Look mom...I am showing you how I will stretch when I am a cheerleader!

Wait just ONE minute mom!

Hmmmm...am I supposed to eat this stuff? What is it? OH...it's PEARS!?!? Well OK then...I will eat it ALL.

Going Back to School

I talked to my Academic Advisor over at Walsh (my university) today and told her I would be coming back part-time in the fall. For those of you who don't know...I am four classes and my student teaching away from getting my degree in Early Childhood Education/Intervention Specialist/Reading Specialist. Is that a mouth-full or WHAT!? It has taken me longer to complete this degree because I had to take extra classes to become certified as a Reading Specialist and Intervention Specialist. This is basically what that big fancy title means. I will be certified to teach grades pre-k through third grade regular OR special education and will also have my reading licensure so that I could also be hired as a reading instructor as well. Basically...in Ohio it is very, very difficult to get a job in the education field so that more things you have to offer the better. I would really like to teach special ed and work primarily with autistic children but at this point I just want a JOB. LOL. So I am taking two classes in the fall, two classes along with my pre-student teaching (60 classroom hours) in the spring of 08 and then I will graduate in the fall of 2008. I was SUPPOSED to graduate THIS spring....but....ummmmmmm....we adopted:-)

It was just time for me to go back. I have been off for a year now and I am itching to get it done and graduate. I am SO thrilled to be going back for two classes in the fall, because unlike most people, I LOVE school. I love to learn and I thrive on educating myself. The best thing is that they are evening classes, each one night a week, so Kris will be here with the kids. No sitters needed. Somehow we have managed to swing this almost my ENTIRE college career. My mom has filled in, often I might say, where needed. I think she misses it too!!

Here are a few random pictures from Florida. I just didn't have the patience to post a bunch of them since they take forever and a year to upload since the file size is HUGE. They are from my dad's awesome new Nikon camera. I think the setting was set on maximum. I think we could blow these up into life-size pictures and use them for wallpaper and they would come out crystal clear. LOL.

We ate at Chilli's in Orlando Airport before going through security and Mikayla fell asleep on dad! How cute is this picture! She really bonded with my dad in Florida.
My silly son whom I ADORE so much!

More Florida Pictures

I am pretty tired but thought I would post a few pictures that were on my dads camera. My mom gave me a CD of them today. The files are HUGE so it took forever to put just these on here but there are a few more I want to post and I will do that tomorrow. Heading to bed...can't wait for the weekend!

Sleepy Girl
And a WIDE awake boy

Mom and Alec at the Beach

Mikayla sitting pretty

Mikayla and I and my red swollen eyes from crying...LOL

My dad and I...I love this picture

Alec squinting in the sunlight

WOOOO HOOOO!

Today a wonderful thing happened in Guatemala. A sweet and very dear friend of mine and her husband became "parents." Another couple became a "family" today in that wonderful Marriott lobby where so many of us have had the same experience. I met their child when I was in Guatemala. I took many, many pictures of her for them and video of her too! She was in the same baby home with Mikayla. I am so happy for you guys and I know you won't be reading this post for a little while, but I wanted you to know that I thought of you all day long and your sweet daughter.

And ANOTHER wonderful thing happened a few days ago! My OTHER dear sweet friend, the one who sent flowers down to the service in Florida (for those of you were there and read this) ALSO became a family and were united with their son! This baby was also in the same baby home as Mikayla. Yes, that's right, I know all kinds of baby home babies and I can't WAIT to get them ALL together for a GROUP PICTURE. I am so happy for you guys too. I love you guys...you are wonderful friends and I know that you are on cloud nine right now...and more then likely...you will NEVER come down!

So...WOOOOO HOOOO.....two more families are now TOGETHER FOREVER!

Adoption, in all aspects, is a wonderful thing. Whether Guatemala, China, the US...wherever. There is no greater joy then the moment the child you have longed for....many of us for years...is placed into your arms. It is just the BEST.

So congrats guys! Can't wait until you are home so we can CELEBRATE!

Getting Back in the Swing of Things

Well..today was a better day. It was beautiful here and warm. It's so nice that the long winter seems to finally be over. I love to see the buds on the trees and the flowers in bloom. Summertime is near and I can't wait!

We are planning Mikayla's First Birthday already. WOW. How crazy is THAT!?!? The party is June 24th and I am excited that so many family members will be attending it. And you know who you are:-) Kris and I sat down and mulled over all the FIRST BIRTHDAY THEMES today and amazingly came to an agreement on one. I will post a picture of it at a later time. Of COURSE it is a Princess theme. I mean did you really expect anything else? And seriously....Mikayla IS quite the Princess. The hard part is deciding where on EARTH to have the party. The place I really wanted to have it at is booked so I have to get on the ball this week and find a new location and book it. So exciting...and a little sad too. I just can't believe she will be turning one. She can still be my baby though.....right!?

Alec's t-ball coach called while we were in Florida to say he has been assigned to the TIGERS. LOL. How cute. I am so excited for him to start T-Ball. They even have the whole group picture thing coming up. My little boy is turning into a little MAN already. He can still be my baby too though....right!?

Kris had his first softball practice tonight. I think his games start in a few weeks. He is happy to be playing again since he is on day shift now and can actually DO it. Alec was MAD that he had to stay behind tonight. He wanted to practice too. HAH.

Well...I am heading to bed now. As always...thank you for all the support and love you have "blogged" my way in the past week. You guys are all the best! OH...and I promise I will catch up on all of YOUR blogs later this week. I am SOOOO behind!

These are some more pictures from Florida and of Mikayla back in the Rotavirus days.

A Storm is Rolling In...

It's evening here in Ohio and a spring storm is rolling in. The kind of storm that you can hear coming for a half hour before it actually arrives. When I was very, very young I developed an immense love for weather. It all started because one of the most important men in my life, my PaPa, would take me on the front porch of their beautiful home and we would sit and watch the storms roll in. The thunder and lightning, pounding rain and wind, would make my heart beat fast. It would make me smile, as I sat cuddled up on my PaPa's lap, rubbing his soft gray hair. I was so young, Alec's age probably. It was only a few years later when I lost my PaPa and my world came crashing around me for the first time. Ask anyone in my family and they will all tell you that PaPa and I had a relationship that lasts a lifetime...even though it was cut way too short. Over the years I have cried many, many times for my PaPa, who made such an impact on my life at such a tender age. I talk to him all the time..sharing my thoughts, feelings, achievements, and stories. When Alec was born....I felt him with me. He was there...I just know it. My grandma was equally, as you all now know, this important to me. Some of my fondest memories of the two of them were back at that house, or our many dinners at the Country Club, or our summer family vacations to Cedar Point. Soon after PaPa passed away, my grandma moved away, back to Florida. She loved it there. But I was left behind. This affected me for a number of years. But even though there was distance between us, I still could feel her close by. She made sure that she knew of every single thing going on in my life. She was so smart...I don't know how she kept track of all that I did...but somehow she managed the task perfectly.

Grandma loved life and she loved me. :-) She also loved my husband and reminded me on a regular basis of how he was the best man out there and that love like ours was rare. She was full of advice and wisdom and unconditional love. She was a grandma, afterall, and she played that role well.

So here is one thing she told me that I wish I would have listened to. She would always tell me to enjoy each day. Even the small things, because you may not have tomorrow. She loved it when I would tell her the "small stuff" that didn't seem all that important. How many times have you heard this advice? My guess is many. I know I have heard it over and over again. And I can remember each time I was given this advice that I would stop and think about how I SHOULD slow down more to "smell the roses" but somehow, in the busy life of a mother, I didn't do it too much. I can tell you that I will do it more often now. We don't know what tomorrow will bring. Life can change in a moments notice and we will NOT always be prepared. In fact, it's hard to EVER be prepared. But, when life changes, for the worst, wouldn't it be wonderful to be able to look back and know that "at least you took the time to praise your child one extra time, that at least you went downstairs when your husband was leaving for work to kiss him goodbye, that at least you took that last minute vacation and made those memories, that at least you made the cupcakes in the middle of the night when your child was dying to make them, that at least you called so and so even though you were tired and wanted to go to bed, that at least you took the time to tuck your child into bed every single night...that at least you lived. And you lived well. And you didn't let opportunity after opportunity pass you by.

So as this storm rolls in and thunder softly booms outside my window...I am remembering. I am remembering my life, my memories, and two of the most influential people in my life, my Grandma Rosie and my PaPa...who now are together in heaven.

Much Love,

Mindy

We Are Home

We got home tonight from Florida. I really don't have much else to say. I am very heartbroken and still very, very numb. I want to say THANK YOU to all of you who sent cards, flowers, and e-mails. You have ALL helped me through this hard time. Here are a few pictures from the trip. We tried to have SOME fun for the kids. It was hard to smile and do anything but when you are a mom...that's what you do. You put things aside and stay strong for your children.
Many Hugs
Mindy