Mikayla was her first child. She was 18 years old when she became pregnant with her and gave birth shortly after turning 19. In her pictures she looks oh so young...it is heartbreaking. It seems that as adoptive parents we don't talk a lot about the birthmothers of our children. Really I guess a lot of that is because we don't really know all that much, yet here we are, raising their child as our own. Most of us only know enough about the birthmother to write a simple paragraph, yet one of the most intimate parts of them lives in OUR home.
I think of her quite often. I just wish I would have had the chance to tell her in person how much we appreciate the ultimate sacrafice she made so that we could have the child we longed for. Do you think they know that? How do you think they truly perceive us? I have no idea how much information they get about us adoptive parents, if any at all. I know it may vary from case to case. I just wonder how much she thinks of us. If she thinks of us at all. And I wonder if she is truly OK with the decision that she made.
I guess what I am saying is that I wonder about her, wish I knew more about her, and hope that she can feel secure in her decision. I wish there was a way to tell her that her daughter is loved and adored. And that we are forever greatful to her...forever greatful...and that she will remain in our prayers for the rest of our lives.
Well on a side note...Kris is doing better today. Right now he is working a side job for the Sheriff's Office doing security at a prom. HAH. It is still very swollen but he is going to go and he has promised me he will wear his brace and be a good boy. Hopefully he actually WILL wear it.
She was REALLY mad at me because I would not let her eat grass. She wanted to eat it SOOOOO badly!
This is the face she makes when she cries. It is so cute. She sticks out her bottom lip and pouts like this and makes a kind of cry that I have never heard in a baby before!
She did NOT want to look at me...only her brother.
Sorry...mom...if I can't eat grass then I'm not looking at you. Period!
Still not looking!!!!!!!
6 comments:
Oh I could just squeeze that sweet girl. She has the cutest little profile so it's okay that she won't look at you for pictures. :)
I appreciate your thoughts on her birth mom. I wonder a lot about Eloisa's birth mom as well. She is just a kid at 15 and my heart hurts for all of the pain she has gone through in her short life. And I wonder if she is getting the support, love, and encouragement she needs.
I think...if Mikayla's birthmom really knew just how MUCH love Mikayla has and what a wonderful family she is with - she would be relieved. I'm sure she prays everyday that her daughter is in the perfect home.
Hopefully she just feels at peace with her decision. I'm sure Jesus gives her that peace.
Mikayla - you are so adorable, even when you pout! :)
Mindy - Haylee was looking at the pics too as I was reading your blog. She was very interested in Alec's pic. ;) She says, "Mom, who is that boy?" - "Can he come to my birthday party?". LOL!
Love ya,
Melissa
ps. to the comment on my blog - I've been thinking of the family all day. I just pray each time I think about them. I cannot imagine just how much their hearts are hurting right now.
Mindy -- I agree with everything you said about the birthmothers. I also think about it many times a week. It is really hard for me because of the abandonment we no nothing -- only that she was 19 and thats it !! I guess all we can do is pray to God that he will give there hearts peace and take care of them -- and he will !!:)
Mindy,
I understand where your thoughts are coming from. I have thought for years of Danny's Birth Mom and I am sure it will be the same for Emilee. I actually cried when we got her picture with her DNA results. The emotions were too much to handle - happy of what the results were but yet so heartbroken for her. I can not imagine the pain these women sacrifice for these precious children. I am confident that Mikayla Faith's Birth Mom would be so proud of her choice if she caught a small glimpse of the life that you and Kris have planned for this princess. It is amazing how God brings people from all of the world together and how she was meant to be your daughter.
As far as the pictures - She is just the cutest!!!
Hey there - stumbled across your blog, probably linked over from a message board or something. Hope you don't mind that I comment - this topic has been on my mind a lot lately.
It think it's important to think about your daughter's birthmother. It's important for her that she know how much respect and sense of wonder you have about the woman that gave birth to her.
As for what if Mikayla's birthmom thinks? I doubt birthmother's see themselves as having made a sacrifice for us.
But I do believe that they think about their children everyday, and pray for them and their new families - just as we pray for them. I suppose that's true for all types of adoption.
Peace,
-GDS
I stubbled here as well - and I am so glad I did! As a birthmother I can tell you that reading all of these comments from adoptive parents showing their concern for birthmother's is extremely touching. When I placed my son for adoption in 1985 I had two prayers: that they would love him as much as I did, and that they would respect me enough to raise him knowing I loved him. It is clear that you, and all the other posters, fulfill those prayers! I hate to be blatant at this, but I'd like to invite you and your readers to check out my book, "Because I Loved You." I think it will answer alot of your questions. There is a sample chapter you can read on the website. I wish you all of life's blessings with your beautiful family! Your children are receiving the greatest gift of all - they know they are loved.
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